Other Pages On


Last updated: Aug 22nd, 2011

Online Dating Sites:

Online dating sites are interactive websites which are oriented towards matchmaking and meeting people for the purpose of dating and romantic relationships. Some online dating sites can also fulfill the function of helping people to develop new friendships or meet people for other purposes like doing activities together.

On this page, I will talk a little bit about my general feelings about online dating, and I will then provide reviews of the dating websites with which I have had personal experience.

My general feelings about online dating:

In general, I am skeptical of online dating and think it is not the best way to meet people for romantic relationships. The lack of social context when meeting someone online is my biggest reservation; I also think that dating sites to some degree attract people who are less social, do not have as much time available for dating, and/or who are less interested in putting themselves out there--none of these things apply to me, and I have found that dating sites thus self-select a group I'm likely to have less in common with.

I prefer meeting people in the "real world":

Spending too much time on online dating can be frustrating and is not great for my self-confidence. I always seem to get much more attention from the opposite sex when I'm out in person, doing various things that I enjoy, or at social gatherings where I already know a lot of people. In "real life", I often seem to attract people like a magnet, and there have been times when my biggest problem has been too much unwanted attention. Online dating, on the other hand, is the usual story of most people ignoring my messages, and there being fewer people that I find interesting and attractive.

Online dating is better for making friends:

However, I have found online dating sites to be a good way to make new friends, especially when I have moved to a new area where I did not have much of an existing social network.

I have used online dating sites for years. I first signed up for Yahoo personals (which has since merged into Match.com) when it was first launched, back when it was free and available to users under 18 (I was about 14 at the time, I think). I used the site to make penpals all over the world. It irritated me when the site booted under-18 users (before I turned 18) and changed to a pay-only site. I've tried other dating websites, including free trial memberships offered as special deals, but I have never paid for a subscription. The only site that I keep an active profile on is OkCupid.com (my OkCupid profile).

My Dating Site Reviews:


OkCupid is a free dating site and is my dating site of choice. However, it is not without its drawbacks. Many of my friends have used Okcupid, and I've made some lifelong friends through the site, and even had two relationships with people I met on the site. In my experience, the site is better for meeting people in general (for friendship) than for dating, but I know people who have had good experiences meeting actual long-term partners through the site. As I see it the advantages of the site are:

Disadvantages of Okcupid:


PlentyOfFish is the other main free online dating site, besides OkCupid. While PlentyOfFish boasts a much larger user base, I have found it is ultimately much less useful for actually meeting people that I have a lot in common with. I also find there are numerous negative aspects to the site which make me reluctant to use it. The site administrators' attitudes towards the users is patronizing and condescending, and boils down to: "Play by our rules or don't use our site." In particular:


Match.com is the theoretical leader among the paid dating websites. It boasts the largest user base. However, there are concerns about Match.com creating fake accounts and otherwise fraudulently inflating their figures about numbers of active users.

The dominant dynamic on Match.com is that men tend to pay for subscriptions whereas women create profiles and passively wait for men to message them. I do not like this setup as it reinforces traditional gender roles and I tend to be most interested in a partner who is skeptical of or wants to move beyond traditional gender roles. I also think that Match.com has a very large portion of users who are looking for casual encounters and who see these encounters in material terms (i.e. women who want the man to pay for the membership, and the date, in exchange for "giving up" sex). I find this dynamic extraordinarily unwholesome. Match.com does not exactly encourage or promote this dynamic, but it seems to arise within the structure of the site, possibly due to the fact that it is a pay site and has a large user base.

If you are a highly mainstream individual, you may find that Match.com works for you, but I would not recommend it.


eHarmony is a paid match-making site that is somewhat different from the others. It has a matching algorithm involving questions, but the matching is much less customizable than okcupid. I find that eHarmony favors a specific type of user:

eHarmony may work for some people, but it is definitely not a useful site for me.

Comments are moderated. Follow Cazort.net's comment policy for your comment to be approved.

blog comments powered by Disqus